The hero's journey: the parts we often leave out

People proclaim: “She’s fearless!”

But the reality? In the moment itself, she was most likely terrified.

Stories are written with the benefit of hindsight. They are less likely to be celebrated if they didn’t end well. And for the sake of inspiration, it’s far neater to skip over the uncomfortable or inconvenient parts.

But the truth? That’s where courage lives.

We often package up and glorify the outcome, the decision, or the act of leadership. We pay far less attention to everything that came before it: the doubt, the sleepless nights, the loneliness, the heaviness, or the sickening worry swirling around the moment we make our move. That’s one of the parts that often gets left out.

But even that, to me, isn’t the whole story. There is another important question we often skip over: if we all feel fear, then what determines whether or not we act?

In 2024, I found myself standing in front of a wall of television cameras at Australia's Parliament House. I knew exactly what I was about to do and there would be no going back.

My body trembled. My voice wasn't as steady as I wanted it to be. I had spent a long time weighing up the foreseeable consequences - on my career, my reputation, my family and my future. I never wanted to be on television or have my name in the newspapers. And I was calling out some of the most powerful people in the country for wrongdoing.

I wasn't fearless. In fact, I was deeply afraid.

But I also knew that staying silent came with costs and consequences of its own.

So I stepped forward anyway.

My press conference was broadcast live on multiple television channels across Australia. I called for an apology and accountability after I was locked out of my office for months and sidelined from my role as Chief of Staff to the Deputy Prime Minister because I had raised concerns about workplace bullying.

It marked the beginning of a very public chapter of my life. By the end of that year, I had published an open letter to the Prime Minister, held another national press conference, and launched legal action against the Deputy Prime Minister, the Prime Minister’s Chief of Staff, and the Commonwealth in the Federal Court of Australia.

It was a life-changing series of challenging moments.

For me, it came down to a few things.

I was propelled by purpose. I wanted accountability for an injustice. I could not walk away in silence knowing the man at the centre of it all could be the Prime Minister of the country one day.

The fear didn’t disappear. It simply stopped being the determining factor.

Most of us like to think that because we are values-driven people, we would rise to the occasion. But the choices in front of us are rarely easy. Leadership is often about choosing your hard.

Think about a situation in your own life or leadership where you know you're avoiding something difficult. Perhaps there's a conversation you're putting off, a decision you've delayed, an injustice you've witnessed, or a truth you've convinced yourself is easier left unsaid?

Before deciding what comes next, it can be useful to work through four considerations:

When we think about leaders who have inspired us the most, the comfortable or self-serving ones rarely come to mind. We tend to remember the people who stood for something. Those who acted with integrity when it may have been easier not to. The people who found strength we weren’t sure we would have ourselves in the same situation and who set an example of what good leadership looks like in difficult circumstances.

When the moment arrived, they knew what mattered most and they did it. Not because they weren’t afraid, but because they did not let that determine the outcome.

Fear told them what was at risk. Integrity reminded them what was worth protecting. Purpose gave them a reason to act. Courage determined what happened next.